I want icecream (Courtney)

Actually I don't want icecream. I'm lactose intolerant. But it would seem every kid in China wants icecream.

Why so you ask?

Well, the last couple of weeks with Senior 1 we have been focusing on restaurants and the ordering process. Nice real life stuff that is relevant and they can actually use. So first week we gave a spiel about western restaurants and the differences between China, ordering, different types of restaurants, food, knives and forks versus chopsticks, paying the bill, you name it. We then had a dialogue for them between a waiter and a customer, which they practised and used a menu to substitute in different meals. Last week we revisted the restaurant theme. We were going to revise the previous week, then get them to create their own dialogues in groups of four. Of course, the school timetable changed for 2 days to allow for exams, and the teaching staff failed to tell Marcus and I. Great! So Tuesday morning is my first Senior 1 class at 10:20. I rock up at 10:15 and all the kids are silent, working away. What's going on I ask?! Normally in the break between classes they are running all over the place, in the halls, eating, throwing things around. They are all looking at me quizzically, like they weren't expecting me. So, I begin the lesson, saying how they will create their own dialogue in the next 20 minutes and then a few groups will read them aloud to the class. They are all saying, no no, we don't have enough time. Turns out the timetable had been changed, so I had actually gotten to class 20 minutes late - hence all the confused looks when I just suddenly appeared! So to allow for this, I just decided to give every class the entire period to come up with their dialogues. This also suited because Marcus was sick and wouldn't be teaching all week, so this week he is just doing the original lesson.

So...after all of that. The kids had a total of about 35 minutes last week, and another 10 minutes at the start of this class to write their dialogues. Here is what I asked of them -

In groups of 4 you are to create your own dialogue, based on the dialogue of last week, please write them down. One person is to the waiter and the other 3 are to be customers. Please chose meals off the menu on the handout. Please ask me any questions as I wander around blah blah.

So, after some of today's dissmal attempts at restaurant dialogues, here is what I think I should have said...

1. You will work in groups of 4. Yes, 4. Once I have put you into your group you are to remain in that group, you are not to change groups, suddenly make a group of 7 and a group of 2 because you don't want to talk to who you are working with. Yes, you, that means you will actually have to move your chair so you can sit with your group and participate! And don't think you can just not stand up when your group is called and the teacher wont mind. In two of my classes today I had about 4 or 5 boys in different groups just leave their classmates to do the dialogue without them. I said nothing and you could see they thought they had gotten away with this. Ha! After each group had finished I walked around the room and pulled each of the boys to the front and made them come up with a dialogue on the spot. Tee hee...oh the shaking of hands and pieces of paper as they realised that I meant business!

2. Please write the dialogue down, as you will need to remember it for next week. The dialogue is to be in English, not Chinese (you would think this would be obvious). The paper you chose should be a clean piece of A4 paper, not a napkin or a post it note or a scrap of paper from your maths homework. The goal is to be able to read your own handwriting. Perhaps even make side notes as to who is saying which line so there isn't mass confusion and embarrassment when you are asked to perform your dialogue.

3. Firstly chose who will be your waiter. This means talking and making a decision as a group. Yes, the waiter will have to speak more than the others. No, you cannot decide who the waiter will be as you are walking up to the front of the class to read out your dialogue.

4. Read the menu provided. There are new words/foods that you will not know - if you want to order one of these dishes please ask me to help you with pronunciation of the words. Only order dishes on the menu - we are pretending to be at a western restaurant, not a Chinese restaurant.

5. Just because your group consists of 2 boys and 2 girls does not mean that the girls will do all the work whilst the boys mess around and contribute nothing.

6. When chosing from the "lucky dip" of numbers (the only way to make some of the classes do work is to give them a randomly chosen number from a plastic bag so they actually know that they will be asked to speak) just because a member of your group managed to pick number 1 does not entitle you to king hit them across the head. For the person who was hit, this does not mean you can then turn around and hit the instigator so hard they fall off their chair.

7. Did I mention the above happened between two girls??

8. When you read your dialogue, fits of giggles are not required. There is nothing pants wetting funny about being in a restaurant.

9. There are more dishes on the menu other than ICECREAM!!! The dialogue is supposed to contain starters, mains, desserts and drinks. Icecream is not a meal!!! I swear, almost every single kid wanted bloody icecream.

10. And finally, the teacher will no longer tolerate any of your crap Class 12!!! Listen up - no more nice Courtney. And group 10, your dialogue not only sucked but you will be doing it again next week!! Mwahahahahhha!!

Yup, that's right, this group had done absolutely nothing. Now, regardless of this, they have a prewritten dialogue given to them, and a menu - how hard is it to just read the original dialogue out? Nope, they made a pathetic attempt. Normally I would just try and coax out a few more sentences from them, but not this group, they are little horrors. So I told them they are to write another dialogue for homework before next class and will be reading again. And this will continue until they bloody do some work!!!

There are days when I wonder why I am so tired....and then it all makes sense.